Save Your Marriage – Surviving Your Husband’s Infidelity and Learning to Love Again

In many marriages, a cheating husband is the worst kind of betrayal. You feel angry, confused, unattractive and hateful. These are all natural feelings to have. After all, you are only human and you never thought this could happen in your marriage. However, as difficult as it may sound, there has to come a point where there is closure; where you learn to love again.

Mixed Emotions

If after hearing the news both of you decide to make your marriage work, remember that it will not be easy. There are days that you will cry your eyes out, feel revengeful and wish something horrible would happen to both of them.

Other days you will feel at peace, in love with your spouse and everything will seem to be getting back to normal.

Then, as though you had split personalities, you will switch and start experiencing the hurts and pains all over again.

You may feel weird going through these mixed emotions but most spouses experiencing your situation feel the same. It is also perfectly natural and sometimes expected.

Reflection

This is an opportune time to reflect on your marriage as a couple. Do not become withdrawn and uncommunicative. This will only make matters worst.

Ask yourself these questions:

Have both of us been allowing things to slide (unresolved conflicts, constant arguing and bickering, sleeping in separate rooms when you have an argument etc.
Are we totally consumed with our work, paying the bills, taking care of the children and our home?

• Have alone times become non-existent?

• Have we stopped going on dates with each other?

• Do we do special things for each other on a regular basis? E.g. candle light dinners, a rose, surprising him or her with their favorite dessert.

The aim of this exercise is to work as a team to make your marriage stronger; to ensure that this does not happen again.

Learn to Love Again

We always try to remind couples that time heals all wounds. For some it takes one month, for others a year and for others even longer. The question you need to ask yourself is how long are you willing to live in an unhappy and miserable state? This will determine how quickly you move on.

You can decide to spend next week being miserable, uptight and angry or you can allow the healing process to take place. If your spouse is showing remorse, being open with you and is doing everything possible to make your relationship work, then it is time you move on and learn to love again.

In order to be in love you need to do loving things. Start with the things you did in the good old days and improve upon them. The things you did with each other that brought you laughter, joy, happiness and peace.

Today is your day to turn the page, start again, love him again.

About The Authors:
Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years of experience. They are the founders and authors of the Marriage Thermometer Principles. This is a unique Marriage Therapy Solution that is revolutionizing the way couples solve marriage problems.

They have never had an argument lasting more than 15 Minutes and have never gone to bed upset with each other. People find this difficult to believe but they have proven that it is more than possible.

Learn their secret and save your marriage starting today: http://marriagethermometer.com/
Do you want to regain that happiness and intimacy you once shared with your spouse? Life is too short to spend it wishing you had a happy and steaming hot marriage when you can do something about it. Get your FREE Marriage Ecourse

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lesia_Gregory

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Deep Thrust Massages

Some spouses believe any sensual touch should lead to intercourse. But it doesn't have to. Consider dancing cheek to cheek, it's sensual but nonsexual. Try giving and receiving back rubs and foot massages. If it leads to some "deep thrust massages", then............well, you get the point.

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Valentine's Day Tip #2

Buy some rose petals and place them behind the sun visor on the passenger side of your car. Take a post it note and write, "I Love You" on it and stick it to the back of the sun visor.
As you are driving to a romantic destination, look at your partner and tell her she has a mark on her cheek. She will pull down the sun visor to use the mirror and be showered in rose petals and see your note.

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Valentine's Day Tip #1

Buy the domain name of your partner's name if it is available for example www.TanyaJohnston.com. Create a web page containing a romantic poem and a picture of a rose. When your partner is surfing the web, casually ask whether she has ever checked to see whether her domain name is taken. Let her type it in to discover her page.

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Communicate your sexual desires!

Communicate with your partner about your sexual relationship, it will strengthen the bond between you. While it might feel uncomfortable at first, you'll feel even closer in the end. Tell him what you like most about your sex life. Don't be afraid to ask for something new or different.

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10 Steps to Being a Better Wife

Before we try to change you, here are a few changes we'll try to make ourselves. Deal?
By Sharon O’Brien

Some guys might not realize this, but when most women get married they usually imagine cozy evenings by a fire, sharing their hopes and dreams with the men they love. Our Prince Charmings, however, sometimes turn into The Grinches Who Stole Romance, lying on the couch with a beer in one hand and a remote in the other. You may have noticed our displeasure about this on occasion. However, in the interest of your willingness to cater to our needs (see "10 Ways to Be a Better Husband"), here's a list for the women out there. Ladies, instead of trying to fix your flawed but lovable husband, why not start by looking in the mirror? These 10 steps will help you re-energize your marriage and renew your appreciation for the former Mr. Perfect.

1) Take care of yourselfTurns out that the best thing you can do for your husband is also good for you. Eat healthy foods, maintain good grooming, and exercise regularly. You'll look and feel better, and you'll continue to be the vibrant and attractive woman he fell in love with, no matter your age.
2) Say thank you, oftenWhen researchers ask men what they want from their wives, appreciation always makes the list. Everyone likes to be appreciated, so remember to notice the things your husband does—for you, for the kids, for the house—and thank him. You'll put a smile on his face and a little joy in his heart.
3) Keep the romance aliveWhen was the last time you planned a romantic interlude with your husband? If you can't remember, you're way overdue. Be affectionate, write love notes, give him a backrub, plan a date, and initiate sexual play. Remind him that you still find him attractive.
4) Let him have "guy time"Everyone needs time for themselves—to relax, enjoy a hobby, or socialize with friends. If your husband loves football and you don't, don’t bug him about it. Encourage him to cultivate friendships with other men. He'll enjoy the companionship. Studies show that people with friends tend to live longer, healthier lives.
5) Make your husband a priorityWith the everyday stresses of work, home, and kids, it's easy to take your husband for granted. Make time for the two of you to reconnect on a regular basis. Take an interest in his work and hobbies. Let him know he's important to you.
6) Don't try to change himAre you outgoing, but your husband is shy? Do you like a clean house, but he leaves towels on the floor? Behavioral experts say you can't change others, you can only change yourself and how you react—so look for ways other than nagging to handle these situations. Compromise on social activities by making them shorter, or go by yourself. Place a laundry basket in the bathroom. And when he attends a party or puts dirty towels in their proper place, thank him. Positive reinforcement beats nagging every time.
7) Don’t make him guess—tell him what you wantIt's easy to assume that the person who lives with you every day also knows you well enough to know what you want. Not true. Most of us view the world through our own needs and desires, so don't be surprised if your husband thinks that what you want is what he would want. If you want something specific—advice, a hug, or a red sweater for your birthday—let him know.
8) Cultivate friends and interests outside your marriageOnce you’re married, it's easy to shrink your social network to revolve around your husband. But no one person can meet all your needs, and it’s too much to expect your husband to be your partner, your lover, AND your best girlfriend. Make time for friendships outside your marriage. You'll have more fun and bring new energy to your relationship.
9) Let free time be freeJust as you need time to relax and unwind, so does your husband. He may not define it the way you do, though; while your idea of relaxing after work may be talking over a glass of wine, he may enjoy being quiet for awhile, reading the newspaper, or watching TV. Find a compromise so both your needs are met. And give him time to recharge by not over-scheduling weekends with home projects and shopping.
10) Believe in your husband, and let him know itMen can display a lot of bravado, but like us they sometimes struggle with low self-confidence and feelings of failure. And because men approach the world as competitors, they sometimes end up feeling like losers. When he comes home, your husband needs to know that the person he values most in the world believes in him—especially when he doesn't believe in himself.

http://men.msn.com

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10 Steps to Being a Better Husband

Turn off the autopilot and start feeding your marriage
By Craig Playstead

Everyone worries too much about bills, getting the kids off to school, and why the dog keeps peeing on the carpet. It's time to light that fire again and remind her of all the reasons why she married you to begin with. Here are 10 steps that will get you on your way to husband of the year (and for the flipside of this list,look out for "10 Ways to Be a Better Wife" next week!).

1) Take an interest in something your wife is really passionate about. This can be especially tough for guys, because we generally feel that if someone else has interests that differ from ours, they're morons. It's not an easy task, and being able to show interest in something that matters to someone you love shows growth—and that's terrifying. Good, but terrifying. Accomplish this and you'll make her feel better about herself, and you get better insight into what makes her tick.
2) Put the kids to bed. Once a week give her the night off and put the kids to bed by yourself. Let her take a hot bath, read a book, or check gossip on the Web and forget about the kids. I'm always amazed how happy this makes my wife. It ranks somewhere between low-end jewelry and a Hawaiian vacation.
3) Learn to apologize. This is the easiest one, and the hardest one. A marriage is a marathon, and we all fly off the handle too quick or let our temper get the best of us sometimes. When you're wrong, it's best to step up and apologize. It's amazing how fast "I'm sorry" can defuse a stupid argument about something you can't even remember.
4) Thank her for putting up with you. Every once in a while, just thank her for putting up with you. That's all you have to say. Don't launch into a list of your faults, or the story about coming home two days late from that Vegas bachelor party. Just thank her, and let her know that you understand that you're not the easiest person in the world to live with.
5) Clean up after yourself. Take care of that late night snack or morning cereal bowl. Setting them in the sink is one thing, but go that extra mile and actually put them in the dishwasher. After all, no one enjoys scraping bacon dip off a bowl that's been sitting too long or smelling the chili from the night before. A beer bottle on the counter the next morning is even worse
6) Make time for just the two of you. Take her on a date once a month. Surprise her by arranging child care, ordering a pizza for the kids, and getting a sitter. She will be so thrilled at your ability to take care of the details that reservations at the best restaurant in town aren't even necessary. The fact that you love her enough to do this would make a Big Mac taste like cracked crab.
7) Groom yourself. Don't embarrass her when you venture out of the house. Check the ears, nose, neck and yes, feet for hair or other growths that shouldn't be there. She not only wants you to impress her friends by how you act, but also by how you look.
8) Get away from the family.Yep, you're getting a free pass. This takes a left turn from the others, but it's essential. Get away from all your responsibilities and go camping or on a golf outing with the guys. You'll laugh, relax, and recharge your batteries. And all three will make you a much better husband when you return.
9) Deal with your side of the family. Help your wife set expectations with your side of the family when it comes to making plans. Don't make her inform your parents that they won't be seeing their grandkids on Christmas this year—pick up the phone and do it yourself. Dealing with extended family can be a huge stress throughout the year, and you don't want the burden to fall entirely on her.
10) Don't lose your dating manners. Remember, she's your wife, not one of your buddies. Don't burp during dinner, or squeeze one out during the movie as she's reaching for the popcorn. You wouldn't have done that while you were dating, and you shouldn't do it now. Continue to try and impress her. Do everything you can to keep the fire alive, and fight the urge to let the passion die. Find the new, hot place to eat or take her to see a cool band that's in town. Have fun, laugh, and make sure you tell her how great she looks.

http://men.msn.com

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Learn to Dance Bachata

Can you imagine what happens after you do a dance like this?

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Have a Family Meeting

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Sensory Seduction

To help her build a better orgasm, engage her five senses

Hearing
A woman's sexuality is socially influenced--that is, she heats up by discovering what turns her partner on, says Emily Nagoski, Ph.D., a sexuality educator at West Chester University.
Your move: Be vocal. Moan when she hits the right spots during oral sex, gasp when you enter her. These sound effects will cue her feedback loop and rev up her arousal.

Sight
Just like you, she can be turned on by a fleeting glance. "Women tend to respond genitally when they see anything sexual," says Nagoski.
Your move: Catch her when she's in front of a mirror. Kiss the back of her neck and move your hands across her front. You'll heighten her sense of both sight and touch--a surefire route to a mind-blowing orgasm.

Smell
The brain regions that control smell, memory, and sexual arousal are tightly linked, says Linda Banner, Ph.D., the author of Advanced Sexual Techniques.
Your move: You may have moved on to a new cologne, but spray some of the old stuff across your bed. When she hits the pillow, it'll trigger steamy, tension-busting memories of those romps from your early dating days.

Taste
Sweet treats on her tongue ring her brain's reward bells, making her ripe for arousal, according to a recent study from the University of Pittsburgh.
Your move: Seduce her by hand-feeding her fruits with curious textures, like pomegranates or lychees. The sugar and unique feel of the fruit on her lips and tongue can serve up an arousing double shot of pleasure.

Touch
You know the hot zones. But are you doing enough to stimulate the cool ones? "Most men forget about temperature," says Nagoski.
Your move: Hold an ice cube in your palm and as it melts, drip it down her abdomen. To touch off a heat wave, place a piece of candied ginger in your mouth and lick her inner thigh. Bonus: A foot massage can trigger the nerves that connect with her genitals.

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Sex Tip of The Day!

Put SEX on the calendar. This may seem totally unnecessary during the hot and heavy exchanges of the Passion stage, but experts say it's the best way to ensure you'll still be enjoying great sex when your life is complicated by kids, a house, stress, reduced sex drive, and times of conflict.

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Thought for the day

Caresses can reduce blood pressure and make people feel calmer and happier. Spouses who enjoy frequent sensual touching feel better because medically they are better.

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Thought for the day

People want to be hugged and kissed at breakfast and after work,they want an arm around a shoulder, a neck massage, a back rub. It's all part of our deep need to feel physical closeness.

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Quote of the day

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, it's becausethey take better care of it.
***********
Cecil Selig

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The Coupon

Here is a great idea, just print this coupon, give it to your spouse telling her that she can redeem it at any time of the day, as often as required.

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Destress with some vitamin "S".

Buy her a naughty nurse's outfit. Play sick in bed and have her serve you a tripple dose of vitamin "s".
If you do not know which vitamin that is, you may have a serious deficiency and must see her professional attention immediately.
Directions:- Have one just before going to bed, one at sunrise and then at lunch return home for a small dose.

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